The series that refuses to die is finally back! Well over a year ago, I began a massive 512-seed bracket if, well….things I like. TV shows, restaurants, public officials, Disney World rides. And I randomized them all, and made them face off in twos. There was a certain element of self-discovery involved: what do I do if one of my favorite books is up against a musician I idolize?
The results were contentious. Because matchups were random, two strong competitors might Duke it out. Seeds that might have had long runs—Ed Muskie, It’s A Small World, George Harrison—fell early because of an unlucky first round draw. Conversely, two weak entries might face off, which is why relatively mediocre Eating Animals and 70s Virginia governor Linwood Holton advanced.
Round 1 is long since over, so I took the 256 winners from Round 1, randomized them again, and thus created 128 matchups. Let’s break down who advances to Round 3.
1. Journey into Imagination (WDW) vs Speculator/Lewey Lake (VIS). I love the Adirondacks, and have lots of happy memories camping at Lewey Lake and having a hearty breakfast in Speculator. It’s beautiful there- deeper into the Adirondacks than my family usually went, but it was therefore a more ambitious drive away. I’m afraid it can’t beat the tide that turned me into a Disney World fanatic. Journey into Imagination.
2. Mr. Bean (TV) vs. John Sherman Cooper (POL). Cooper barely made the original bracket and is a good example of two fairly week seeds matching up. One has to win, just the same. But our globe-trotting Kentucky moderate is out of luck, and it’s Rowan Atkinson’s near-silent Mr. Bean who carries the day.
3. Star Trek: the Original Series (TV) vs. Mafia (GAM). I haven’t played Mafia in almost twenty years. I love how the game changes dramatically based on who you are playing with, but even still…it’s been a long time. An easy win for TOS. Although aspects of the show, such as it’s treatment of women and Kirk’s authoritarianism, haven’t aged well, it’s still a great watch—the perfect alchemy of campy and thought-provoking.
4. Morris Udall (POL) vs Civilization IV (GAM). Udall isn’t remembered all that well today, but he was the funniest man in politics—at least until Al Franken came along. Rearrange a few minor contingencies and Udall, not Carter, wins the Democratic nomination in 1976. Even so, Sid Meier’s Civ IV wins for me. This turn-based romp through the ages was addicting and endlessly repayable.
5. Bath, UK ,(VIS) vs X-Men: First Class (MOV). I’ve been to Bath four times oddly enough- once as an honors student studying abroad, once as a TA for the same program, and twice on bus tours with people visiting me in London. The Roman baths are great, but it’s also a fine, charming small city with plenty of personality. First Class was great when it came out, but it’s star was dimmed by a lot of retconning when Bryan Singer came back. It’s not a runaway, but Bath advances.
6. Eating Animals (BOK) vs Master of None (TV). Eating Animals, as mentioned earlier, is another less inspiring entry that made it to this runs by luck. Master of None has plenty of Aziz Ansari-induced flaws, but it wins this round almost by default. Master of None.
7. Woodstock, VT (VIS) vs Ramayana (BOK). Well, the Ramayana is clearly the more historically significant. But that’s not what this project is about; it’s about personal significance to me. And though I’m not Hindu, I find the epic to be the most appealing piece of literature from outside of my own religious background. Woodstock, though…I love Vermont and my honeymoon was there. I’ve got to advance it one more round. Woodstock.
8. What is God Like? (BOK) vs Ringo Starr (MUS). Although WhAt Is God Like? is a charming children’s book written by Rachel Held Evans, a woman I admired quite a lot….let’s be real. Ringo was my first concert, and while I may not appreciate his solo career with the same gusto as my friend Philip, Ringo’s star will continue to shine bright in this bracket.
9. BoJack Horseman (TV) vs Melbourne. Australia (VIS). BoJack rocked my world with its. satire of Hollywood life and deeply flawed protagonist. A smart show with a fine cast of supporting characters. Easily one of my favorites from the last decade. I liked visiting Melbourne, but the city is more of a vibe than a destination. BoJack.
10. Agra, IND (VIS) vs Sam Cooke (MUS). Agra has two of India’s S-tier attractions, the Taj Mahal and the less famous but equally captivating Fatepuhr Sikri, Akbar’s custom-built Mughal capital. I need to give it the edge over Sam Cooke despite his godlike voice; easily my favorite act in the Rock Hall’s inaugural class.
11. Pop Century (WDW) vs Elizabeth Warren (POL). Not exactly a tough decision but an unfortunate one. I stayed at Pop Century for three of my last four visits to Disney World. I like it’s pop culture-rich style—it’s fun and retro—even as I’m not a fan of the motel-style layout. Alas- it’s up against my favorite current senator, and probably the presidential candidate I felt the most affinity for in my lifetime. Liz Warren.
12. Inlet, NY (VIS) vs In Defense of Food (BOK). Somehow, two Michael Pollan books snuck into around 2. And the first twenty matchups no less. Inlet, a small Adirondack town where my wife’s grandparents summered, will be around for a long time in this bracket. I’ll talk about it more later.
13. Tom Lehrer (MUS) vs Cambridge, UK (VIS). Lehrer’s satire—truly subversive for the early 60s—laid the groundwork for so much that I aspired to be: arch, learned, and playfully mean-spirited. At 95, Lehrer has long receded from the public eye, but his legacy is profound. As much as I like Cambridge the few times I have been there, seeing a clone of Newton’s apple tree can’t compare to a nihilistic chorus of “We Will All Go Together When We Go.” Tom Lehrer.
14. Blackadder (TV) vs Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV). Two television shows are facing off here, making this a more straightforward match. Kimmy Schmidt got a bit too surreal at the end, but Blackadder went out with “Goodbyeeee,” a contender for the best television episode ever. Two wins for Rowan Atkinson this set.?Blackadder.
15. Stevie Wonder (MUS) vs The Simpsons (TV). I have a great appreciation for Wonder’s long career. You don’t even have to be especially well plugged in to know 20 songs by Stevie. Alas- he’s a very good musician running into one of my favorite tv shows ever, and a staple of my youth. The Simpsons.
16. Saigon Bangkok (RES) vs Parks & Rec (TV). Buffalo’s Saigon Bangkok was my intro to Southeast Asian food and my go-to for visitors and first dates during grad school. For most restaurants I’ve visited, I fell into one favorite dish, but here? I could eat anything on the menu and walk away happy. As much as I appreciated the brilliant personas dramaticas on Parks and Rec, nothing evokes warm memories like sublime meals in good company. Bangkok Saigon.
17. Star Trek: Beyond (MOV) vs Henry A. Wallace (POL). In AbramsTrek, Beyond was an improvement over Into Darkness and allowed the ensemble cast to shine. But it was still a loud, messy, lens-flared boondoggle. Henry Wallace, you goofy, naive bastard…get your corn-fed ass to Round Three.
18. Birch Bayh (POL) vs Edgar Winter (MUS). I liked Winter the two times I saw him live—but I still only know, like, four of his songs off the top of my head. Birch Bayh, though? The last surviving senator to vote for the Civil Rights Act? The only dude other than James Madison to write multiple constitutional amendments? Someone who could have been an A-tier president? I could go on like this for a while, but for now? I’m Bayh-partisan.
19. Peter, Paul & Mary (MUS) vs Old-Fashioned (ALC). Look, I went on my friend Nick’s podcast to defend the honor of Peter, Paul, and Mary. I love them, but it may be the infatuation with the idea of them— folky troubadours at the vanguard of social action. In reality, their music was always decent, but only a special few songs like “When the Ship Comes In”. It’s going to take more than that to beat my go-to cocktail. Old-Fashioned.
20. Saratoga Springs, NY (VIS) vs Q Squared (BOK). On one hand, an ambitious Star Trek novel. On the other, an oasis of art, good food, and high society in the Rust Belt enclave from whence I came. Hang out with a friend? Got a date you want to impress? Want to catch a concert? Make like the subject of “You’re So Vain” and head up to Saratoga.