The Final Countdown

Hey, everyone. I’ve been weighing this option for several weeks, and I’ve come to a decision. I’m going to stop posting on the Northumbrian Countdown.

Why? Well, a quick glance will show that I haven’t been posting on this site with any frequency for the last year or so. Part of that has to do with the time spent watching my kids full time. What free time I do have is going to The Also-Rans podcast and a couple of exciting new projects in the pipeline that I can’t quite share yet.

But I’ve also been discouraged by the lack of engagement. I knew this site would take a hit when I left Twitter, but I was surprised by the magnitude of the drop off. The only comments I get nowadays are either non-constructive or off-topic.

So it is time say adieu. We covered a great many things on this blog: ranking presidents, imagining running mates and cabinets, creating alternate timelines, fixing up Disney World, ranking Elton and Beatles songs. And, of course, there was all the Rock Hall commentary. I was perhaps most proud of the Countdown being a tentpole of the Rock Hall Watching community for several years. I’m delighted by the support and fellowship we all achieved, with special shout outs to Nick, Phillip, Tom, Michelle, Donnie, Eric & Mary, and particularly Neil Walls and Future Rock Legends.

If you want to stay in touch, I’m still on Facebook. You can buy my book, My Brother’s Keeper: George McGovern and Progressive Christianity. You can listen to my podcast about unsuccessful presidential candidates The Also-Rans. And I’ll keep this blog up, so you can still comment if you really care to.

But for now, the Countdown has finally reached zero. Thank you all for your readership over the years. Good night and good luck.

Top 50 Classic-Era Chicago Songs

It’s the 50th anniversary of Chicago VI this summer, and my boys played at the Fourth of July festivities in D.C. last week. To celebrate, here’s my list of the 50 best Chicago songs from their classic era- that is, with Terry Kath on guitar and James Guercio producing. I’m also using longer suites, rather than individual tracks, so if you are wondering where, say, “Colour My World” or “Make Me Smile” are, they are part of the “Ballet For A Girl in Buchanan.”

1. 25 Or 6 to 4

2. Just You’N’Me

3. Questions 67 & 68

4. Ballet For A Girl in Buchanan

5. Beginnings

6. Mississippi Delta City Blues

7. Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

8. Dialogue Part 1 & 2

9. Feelin’ Stronger Every Day

10. Listen

11. Saturday in the Park

12. If You Leave Me Now

13. In the Country

14. Now That You’ve Gone

15. Happy Man

16. Something In This City Changes People

17. Introduction

18. Wishing You Were Here

19. This Time

20. Harry Truman

21. Call On Me

22. Hanky Panky/Life Saver

23. Once Or Twice

24. Elegy

25. Another Rainy Day in New York City

26. Loneliness Is Just A Word

27. Goodbye

28. Mongonucleosis

29. I’ve Been Searchin’ So Long

30. Travel Suite

31. Southern California Purples

32. Hollywood

33. I’m A Man

34. Mother

35. Fancy Colours

36. Inner Struggles/Prelude/Little One

37. Never Been In Love Before

38. A Hit By Varese

39. Someday (August 29, 1968)

40. Lowdown

41. Oh, Thank You Great Spirit

42. The Road

43. Song of the Evergreens

44. Wake Up, Sunshine

45. Poem 58

46. Scrapbook

47. Byblos

48. Take Me Back to Chicago

49. In Terms of Two

50. Brand New Love Affair, Part 1 & 2

Omni-Bracket, Round 2, Matches #41-60

41. Strong Museum of Play (GAL) vs Doctor Who (TV). Oh dear— two strong contenders here, pin unintended. Ultimately, the maddening inconsistencies and Taft-sized plot holes do the good Doctor in. And as a proud Rochestafarian, I’ve got to stick with what has become our city’s greatest tourist attraction. Strong Museum of Play.

42. Patsy Mink (POL) vs Mark Hatfield (POL). Mark Hatfield was my favorite postwar Republican: a sturdy voice of conscience against the Vietnam War and the embodiment of being an evangelical in American politics before the nuts and zealots took over. On the other hand, there’s a reason I’m not a Republican and wouldn’t have been in the 1960s and 1970s either. Mink was just as critical of the war, but much better on social issues. Plus there’s the historicity of being the first AAPI woman in Congress. Patsy Mink.

43. Millard Fillmore, Mon Amour (BOK) vs Planet Earth (TV). The Millard Fillmore novel’s theme was interesting—do we really know the things or people we claim to be intimately familiar with? Even so, it’s not really the kind of book I ever recommended to anyone and might be the weakest entrant in all Round 2. By default, the winner is David Attenborough and Planet Earth.

44. Gin and Tonic (ALC) vs Sesame Street (TV). As refreshing as a gin and tonic is, there’s nothing like watching vintage Sesame Street with your toddler and being amazed how well it holds up. Sesame Street.

45. Avatar: Flight of Passage (WDW) vs Spectacular Realities (BOK). A book about fin-de-siecle amusements versus a modern marvel of 21st century imagineering? Easy to choose. Flight of Passage.

46. John Lewis (POL) vs Julian Castro (POL). Two men from the same category face off here. Although both are racial minorities from the South, it’s no real contest. Lewis was a major figure in the civil rights movement and was a formidable advocate for social justice until the day he died. I like Castro, and he was my second choice in a crowded field of 2020 candidates. But he just didn’t actualize his youthful promise. John Lewis.

47. Paris, FRA (VIS) vs How Few Remain (BOK)— remember, dear reader: this bracket evaluates its importance to me, not it’s global significance. I went to Paris. I saw the sites. I might never be back and I’d be okay with that. I will, however, absolutely read Harry Turtledove’s pioneering work of alternate history. How Few Remain.

48. Walter Mondale (POL) vs Wandavision (TV). I feel like Walter Mondale ~should~ go far in this contest. I love my 1970s liberals and my unsuccessful presidential candidates and this guy checks both boxes. And yet, I don’t want to get rid of Wandavision yet— it’s attention to detail and ability to show the Marvel actors’ range was singular. I’m so sorry Fritz. Wandavision.

49. St. Francis of Assisi (ST) vs Asian Civilizations Museum (GAL). Singapore’s Asian Civilizations Museum takes a very circumscribed view of “Asian”— lots of Chinese culture, lots of Islamic and Malaysian culture, lots of Mughal India. Not coincidentally, these are the main cultural groups in Singapore. So you’d never get a sense that Japan, Korea, the Mongols, or the Silk Road mattered. Quite a contrast to the saint who seems to have something relevant and surprising to say to every age. St. Francis.

50. Jimmy Carter (PRE) vs Abraham Lincoln (PRE). God. Damn It. There aren’t too many contestants who could take out Jimmy Carter. But Lincoln can. He has all of Carter’s humanity and ability to understand the issue of race in America in ways that transcended his upbringing. But Lincoln was also successful in most of his aims as president, albeit at great cost. Plus, he had one thing that eluded Carter throughout his life—a sense of humor. Both are good men, but my choice has to be Lincoln.

51. Bill Russell (NBA) vs Lake Street Dive (MUS). Lake Street Five is a pretty groovy ensemble, yet even their light pales when juxtaposed to a great teammate, an overlooked civil rights pioneer, and the greatest winner in the history of U.S. men’s’ professional sports. Bill Russell.

52. Stephen Curry (NBA) vs British Library (GAL). Another city test where the winner has to be a transcendent basketball player. For years I wept with the Warriors in the valley. What a thrill it has been to rejoice with them in the mountaintop. Alas, Curry’s advancement ends this bracket journey for an amazing collection of original manuscripts. Steph Curry.

53. Star Trek II: the Wrath of Khan (MOV) vs Magical Mystery Tour (MOV). Two movies face off- a high point of the Trek franchise is up against what is arguably the nadir of The Beatles’ entire career. All I have to say is: “KHAAAAAAAANNN!!!!!”

54. Real McCoy (MUS) vs Barack Obama (PRE). I’m not dignifying this choice with further commentary. Obama.

55. The Love Boat (TV) vs A Mighty Wind (MOV). The Love Boat speaks to my appreciation of the cheesier aspects of 1970a pop culture, and is a consummate guilty pleasure. Plus, it makes me nostalgic for the cruises I was privileged to go on as a 14 and 17-year-old. Alas, it’s up against what is probably my favorite movie of all time. A Mighty Wind.

56. Pat Benatar (MUS) vs Varanasi, IND (VIS). As much as I love Pat Benatar….geez. Varanasi was so unspeakably ancient. Riding in a boat at night past all the temples was life-changing. As much as I don’t want to romanticize the poverty I saw and the profound environmental degradation of the Ganges that accompanies all the religious rites— well, it’s still got to win this round. Varanasi.

57. She-Ra reboot (TV) vs Monty Python and the Holy Grail (MOV). As much as I love the new She-Ra and appreciate the slow burning, antagonistic romance between the title character and Catra, the teenage boy in me must gravitate to the most quotable movie of all time, Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

58. Spaceship Earth (WDW) vs Tim Kaine (POL). We are all poorer for never having had Tim Kaine as Vice-president- a rare politician who actually seems like a fairly normal human. But how can I pick him over my favorite currently-existing ride in Disney World? Sorry, Senator Kaine, but you’ve delivered your last dad joke in this bracket. Spaceship Earth.

59. The Spinners (MUS) vs Don’t Stop the Carnival (BOK)- These two are pretty evenly matched. The Spinners had that lush Philly Soul sound, we’re excellent live performers and had a superb voice in sometimes-lead Philippe Wynne. I have some reservations about advancing Don’t Stop the Carnival at their expense. Herman Wouk’s novel isn’t terribly modern in its depictions of the denizens of the Caribbean. But as a guy approaching 40, man…does it’s depiction of the crazy-ass things we do in midlife crises hit hard. Don’t Stop the Carnival.

60. Help! (MOV) vs Elton John (MUS). Considering that The Beatles vs Elton would be competitive, I don’t see any other outcome for Elton vs a James Bond sendup where you can see the red, bloodshot eyes of some very high Fabs. A shame too- Help! is probably one of my five favorite movies. Elton John.

Pick the Governors, 2027

Here’s who I predict will be the governors of all fifty states in four years (once each state has had at least one election). Let’s look back in May, 2027 and see how many (if any) I got right.

Remember, these are my predictions, not my endorsements.

Alabama: Will Ainsworth (R)
Alaska: Jonathan Kreiss-Tompkins (D)
Arizona: Katie Hobbs (D)
Arkansas: Sarah Huckabee Sanders (R)
California: Eleni Kounalakis (D)
Colorado: Crisanta Duran (D)
Connecticut: Erin Stewart (R)
Delaware: Kathy Jennings (D)
Florida: Ron DeSantis (R)
Georgia: Jason Carter (D)
Hawaii: Josh Green (D)
Idaho: Raul Labrador (R)
Illinois: J. B. Pritzker (D)
Indiana: Mike Braun (R)
Iowa: Kim Reynolds (R)
Kansas: Scott Schwab (R)
Kentucky: Andy Beshear (D)
Louisiana: Jeff Landry (R)
Maine: Shenna Bellows (D)
Maryland: Krish Vignarajah (D)
Massachusetts: Maura Healy (D)
Michigan: Jocelyn Benson (D)
Minnesota: Peggy Flanagan (DFL)
Mississippi: Tate Reeves (R)
Missouri: Jay Ashcroft (R)
Montana: Greg Gianforte (R)
Nebraska: Jim Pillen (R)
Nevada: Joe Lombardo (R)
New Hampshire: Chris Pappas (D)
New Jersey: Tom Kean Jr (R)
New Mexico: Martin Heinrich (D)
New York: Preet Bharara (D)
North Carolina: Josh Stein (D)
North Dakota: Doug Burgum (R)
Ohio: Jon Husted (R)
Oklahoma: Ryan Walters (R)
Oregon: Lori Chavez-Deremer (R)
Pennsylvania: Josh Shapiro (D)
Rhode Island: Dan McKee (D)
South Carolina: Shane Massey (R)
South Dakota: Dusty Johnson (R)
Tennessee: Tim Burchett (R)
Texas: Ken Paxton (R)
Utah: Spencer Cox (R)
Vermont: Molly Gray (D)
Virginia: Abigail Spanberger (D)
Washington: Bob Ferguson (D)
West Virginia: Patrick Morrissey (R)
Wisconsin: Mike Gallagher (R)
Wyoming: Chip Neiman (R)

Omni-Bracket Round 2: #21-40

21. Revenge of the Sith (MOV) vs Gaylord Nelson (POL). I’m writing this the day after Earth Day, so I’d be inclined to give this to its founder, even if Revenge of the Sith wasn’t a hot mess with a great lightsaber fight. My unpopular hot take is that it was the worst of the prequels. Gaylord Nelson– On Wisconsin!

22. Jon Tester (POL) vs Lime Monorail (WDW). Look, we are so lucky to have Jon Tester in the Senate. Since I’ve started following politics eighteen years ago, a state’s senators are almost in lockstep with how they vote in presidential elections. Yet Tester holds the line in Montana as we near the end of his third term. Nevertheless, if you go to Disney World, there’s nothing as iconic as a ride on the monorail track. And I’ve always had an affinity for Limey.

23. Edinburgh, UK (VIS) vs Kitchen Kabaret (WDW). Edinburgh blew me away when I visited in 2015. A walkable city—with a massive hill just a mile from city center. It’s not beating an Epcot audio animatronic show about the four good groups. Edinburgh.

24. Happily Ever After (WDW) vs Chicago (MUS). Disney gets the short end of the stick again. Happily Ever After is their finest nighttime spectacular, but it’s not about to beat my favorite American rock and roll band. Take Me Back To….Chicago!

25. Contemporary Resort (WDW) vs The Price is Right (TV). Geez…lots of contests with Disney World in a row! No amount of snow days could nudge Price Is Right past the Contemporary. As a wee lad, we stayed there my first two trips back when it was halfway affordable. Gimme that sweet monorail access and ability to walk to the Magic Kingdom. Contemporary.

26. Beach Club (WDW) vs The Zombies (MUS). A very tough call. The Beach Club is one of my favorite places to stay in Disney World. You can walk to Epcot, take a ferry to Hollywood Studios, and they have the best hotel pool on property. The Zombies, though? They made one of the best albums of the ‘60s, and I championed their Rock Hall candidacy hard five years ago. I’ve got to pick The Zombies.

27. Bernie Sanders (POL) vs Eagles (MUS). Eagles had some great tunes— but once Meisner and Leadon left, the band became too perfectionist and calculating for their own good. Sanders—despite some of his supporters driving me crazy—did more to make progressive policies a legit political platform in the last 40 years. Goodbye Bernie Leadon, stay on board Bernie Sanders.

28. St John the Apostle (ST) vs Test Track (WDW). There’s so much about John that intrigues me. Did he have anything at all to do with the Gospel that bears his name? Did he actually live to see the 2nd century and die peacefully, as legend suggests? What does it mean to be “The Disciple Jesus Loved”? It’s gotta take priority over a ride about testing automobiles for safety. St. John.

30. Spock’s World (BOK) vs Pirates of the Caribbean (WDW). A closer contest than you might think. Diane Duane’s Star Trek novel has some of the finest worldbuilding in science fiction—all before the Rick Berman era added so much to the canon about the planet Vulcan. That ain’t nothin’. It’s worthy opponent changed the very nature of theme park attractions, using animatronics and scene-setting, and atmosphere to tell a story rather than simply thrill. To my surprise, I find myself picking Spock’s World.

29. Din Tai Fung (RES) vs Bali (VIS). How can one chain of dumpling restaurants take on an entire tropical island? By having the best goddamn dumplings I’ve had, that’s how. Din Tai Fung wins, but I still love you Bali. You keep doing your $8 full body massages and seafood on the beach and I’ll keep coming back.

31. Hyperbole and a Half (COM) vs Star Trek VI: Undiscovered Country (MOV). Hyperbole had some funny moments, especially “do ALL the things” but VI was the best written and well executed Trek movie. Except for Spock forcing Valeris to mind meld when her treachery is revealed—which has some rapey overtones that don’t and shouldn’t communicate well today. Trek VI.

32. Left Hand of Darkness (BOK) vs Indigo Girls (MUS). Sexuality runs deep in each contestant in this matchup. Ursula LeGuinn’s landmark sci-fi novel concerns a human visitor to a planet whose people periodically change their sex. And the Indigo Girls are, of course, two of the most prominent lesbian musicians whose oeuvre is the hallmark of an entire subculture. Because of the sheer quality of their back catalog, let’s pack up the Subaru and put on our Birkenstocks. Indigo Girls.

33. Reading Rainbow (TV) vs Sting (MUS). Hmmm…each is far from my favorite in its respective category. Although Reading Rainbow gets props for its educational content and my reverence for LeVar Burton, I need to pick Sting. He produced one of the only truly good Christmas albums, putting him in rarified company.

34. New Delhi, IND (VIS) vs Black Panther (MOV). An enormously tough call. Panther was lavish, brilliantly conceived, and big budget—shocking for a film that was so Afrocentric. And, of course, Chadwick Boseman’s performance resonates even more after his untimely death. How does it fare against New Delhi, a city of wild contrasts, a great mass of humanity, and centuries as a focal point of human civilization? It’s an agonizing coin flip, but Black Panther.

35. Bangor, ME (VIS) vs Burr (BOK). The three months I spent in Bangor with a baby in the NICU changed my life. You get to know your terrain very well indeed when something like that happens. It’s a flawed city and probably won’t make it past next round but it gets the win. Sorry, Burr– but your salty take on the Founders pissed off Michelle Bachman enough that she entered politics as a nut job. It’s the stupidest villain origin story of all time. Bangor.

36. Yes (MUS) vs Paul McCartney (MUS). If you are really wondering how this will go, you are reading the wrong blog. Sorry, Yes fans— no amount of virtuosity can take the place of heart and melody. Easy win for Macca.

37. Venerable Bede (ST) vs George McGovern (POL). An interesting matchup: a two people living out in the sticks who were trained as historians with a socially conscious religious bent. But an interesting match isn’t always a close one. Although Bede gave this blog its monastic motif, my hero, my liege has to prevail. George McGovern.

38. Violet Oon (RES) vs Rock Hall (GAL). Oh no. Oh no no no. Please don’t make me choose between the restaurant that serves my favorite meal of all time (meatless meatballs rendang, baby!) and the institution I’ve wrestled with and loved in spite of itself for almost a decade on this site. Since we are technically talking about just the Rock Hall museum rather than the institution as a whole and who gets in…I’ll have to give this to Violet Oon. If you think I’m making the wrong call, I need to reassure you that those meatballs are truly otherworldly.

39. Chautauqua (VIS) vs Horizons (WDW). Chautauqua is basically Disney World if it had no rides and was designed by your favorite professor. Horizons was actually in Disney World, and is one of my two favorite attractions of all time. Horizons.

40. Jerry West (NBA) vs Redeemer (BOK). A book about Jimmy Carter shouldn’t make it past this round when Carter himself is still on the board. Shout out to its author, Randall Balmer, though. The Logo comes up clutch again. Jerry West.

How I’d Produce the #RockHall2023 Ceremony

The Class of 2023 has been announced! And a good class it is. I was one of the few who thought Kate Bush would get inducted as a performer, but this accomplishment was undercut by my being one of the few who didn’t predict Sheryl Crow.

It wouldn’t be Rock Hall season without a bit more unnecessary prognostication. Therefore, if I were producing the ceremony in Brooklyn this year, this is the best reasonable scenario I could muster. Can you do better?

Sheryl Crow (inducted by St. Vincent)

• If It Makes You Happy
• All I Wanna Do

DJ Kool Herc (inducted by Grandmaster Flash)

The Spinners (inducted by Babyface)

• Rubber Band Man
• Then Came You (w/ Dionne Warwick)

(Use footage of Spinners on Soul Train to transition to…..)

Don Cornelius (inducted by Questlove)

Rage Against the Machine (inducted by Chuck D)

• Guerilla Radio
• Know Your Enemy

Link Wray (inducted by Steven Van Zandt)

• Rumble (performed w SVZ and Robbie Robertson)

Missy Elliott (inducted by Lizzo)

• Work It/Get Ur Freak On/The Rain ((w/ Lizzo and Ludacris)

George Michael (inducted by Adam Lambert)

• Freedom ‘90 (Lil Nas X)
• Faith (Adam Lambert)
• Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me (Lambert and Elton John)…the song is used as an In Memoriam)

Bernie Taupin (inducted by Elton John)

Chaka Khan (inducted by Mary J. Blige)

• I Feel For You
• Ain’t Nobody

Al Kooper (inducted by Stephen Stills)

Kate Bush (inducted by Sadie Sink and Millie Bobbie Brown)

• Running Up That Hill (performed by St Vincent and Bjork)
• Don’t Give Up (performed by Bush and David Gilmour)
• Collaboration between Kate Bush and Big Boi

Willie Nelson (inducted by Lyle Lovett)

• Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die (w/Snoop Dogg)
• Whiskey River (w/ Lyle Lovett)

Finale:

• Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys/I’m Every Woman (latter includes Kate Bush, Missy Elliott, Sheryl Crow, Chaka Khan, St. Vincent, Mary J. Blige, Dionne Warwick, & Lizzo)

Predictions for #RockHall2023 Inductees

I’ll make this short and simple, since I’m typing this one-handed on my phone while a 12-month-old is falling asleep on my other arm.

My predictions for performer inductees are:

• Willie Nelson
• Kate Bush
• Missy Elliott
• The White Stripes
• Warren Zevon
• George Michael
• Cyndi Lauper (if 7)

To take a blind stab at the other categories, let’s say Big Mama Thornton and Dionne Warwick for Influence, Thom Bell and Wolfman Jack for Non-Performers, Carol Kaye and The Meters for Musical Excellence.

Omni-Bracket, Round 2: #1-20

The series that refuses to die is finally back! Well over a year ago, I began a massive 512-seed bracket if, well….things I like. TV shows, restaurants, public officials, Disney World rides. And I randomized them all, and made them face off in twos. There was a certain element of self-discovery involved: what do I do if one of my favorite books is up against a musician I idolize?

The results were contentious. Because matchups were random, two strong competitors might Duke it out. Seeds that might have had long runs—Ed Muskie, It’s A Small World, George Harrison—fell early because of an unlucky first round draw. Conversely, two weak entries might face off, which is why relatively mediocre Eating Animals and 70s Virginia governor Linwood Holton advanced.

Round 1 is long since over, so I took the 256 winners from Round 1, randomized them again, and thus created 128 matchups. Let’s break down who advances to Round 3.

1. Journey into Imagination (WDW) vs Speculator/Lewey Lake (VIS). I love the Adirondacks, and have lots of happy memories camping at Lewey Lake and having a hearty breakfast in Speculator. It’s beautiful there- deeper into the Adirondacks than my family usually went, but it was therefore a more ambitious drive away. I’m afraid it can’t beat the tide that turned me into a Disney World fanatic. Journey into Imagination.

2. Mr. Bean (TV) vs. John Sherman Cooper (POL). Cooper barely made the original bracket and is a good example of two fairly week seeds matching up. One has to win, just the same. But our globe-trotting Kentucky moderate is out of luck, and it’s Rowan Atkinson’s near-silent Mr. Bean who carries the day.

3. Star Trek: the Original Series (TV) vs. Mafia (GAM). I haven’t played Mafia in almost twenty years. I love how the game changes dramatically based on who you are playing with, but even still…it’s been a long time. An easy win for TOS. Although aspects of the show, such as it’s treatment of women and Kirk’s authoritarianism, haven’t aged well, it’s still a great watch—the perfect alchemy of campy and thought-provoking.

4. Morris Udall (POL) vs Civilization IV (GAM). Udall isn’t remembered all that well today, but he was the funniest man in politics—at least until Al Franken came along. Rearrange a few minor contingencies and Udall, not Carter, wins the Democratic nomination in 1976. Even so, Sid Meier’s Civ IV wins for me. This turn-based romp through the ages was addicting and endlessly repayable.

5. Bath, UK ,(VIS) vs X-Men: First Class (MOV). I’ve been to Bath four times oddly enough- once as an honors student studying abroad, once as a TA for the same program, and twice on bus tours with people visiting me in London. The Roman baths are great, but it’s also a fine, charming small city with plenty of personality. First Class was great when it came out, but it’s star was dimmed by a lot of retconning when Bryan Singer came back. It’s not a runaway, but Bath advances.

6. Eating Animals (BOK) vs Master of None (TV). Eating Animals, as mentioned earlier, is another less inspiring entry that made it to this runs by luck. Master of None has plenty of Aziz Ansari-induced flaws, but it wins this round almost by default. Master of None.

7. Woodstock, VT (VIS) vs Ramayana (BOK). Well, the Ramayana is clearly the more historically significant. But that’s not what this project is about; it’s about personal significance to me. And though I’m not Hindu, I find the epic to be the most appealing piece of literature from outside of my own religious background. Woodstock, though…I love Vermont and my honeymoon was there. I’ve got to advance it one more round. Woodstock.

8. What is God Like? (BOK) vs Ringo Starr (MUS). Although WhAt Is God Like? is a charming children’s book written by Rachel Held Evans, a woman I admired quite a lot….let’s be real. Ringo was my first concert, and while I may not appreciate his solo career with the same gusto as my friend Philip, Ringo’s star will continue to shine bright in this bracket.

9. BoJack Horseman (TV) vs Melbourne. Australia (VIS). BoJack rocked my world with its. satire of Hollywood life and deeply flawed protagonist. A smart show with a fine cast of supporting characters. Easily one of my favorites from the last decade. I liked visiting Melbourne, but the city is more of a vibe than a destination. BoJack.

10. Agra, IND (VIS) vs Sam Cooke (MUS). Agra has two of India’s S-tier attractions, the Taj Mahal and the less famous but equally captivating Fatepuhr Sikri, Akbar’s custom-built Mughal capital. I need to give it the edge over Sam Cooke despite his godlike voice; easily my favorite act in the Rock Hall’s inaugural class.

11. Pop Century (WDW) vs Elizabeth Warren (POL). Not exactly a tough decision but an unfortunate one. I stayed at Pop Century for three of my last four visits to Disney World. I like it’s pop culture-rich style—it’s fun and retro—even as I’m not a fan of the motel-style layout. Alas- it’s up against my favorite current senator, and probably the presidential candidate I felt the most affinity for in my lifetime. Liz Warren.

12. Inlet, NY (VIS) vs In Defense of Food (BOK). Somehow, two Michael Pollan books snuck into around 2. And the first twenty matchups no less. Inlet, a small Adirondack town where my wife’s grandparents summered, will be around for a long time in this bracket. I’ll talk about it more later.

13. Tom Lehrer (MUS) vs Cambridge, UK (VIS). Lehrer’s satire—truly subversive for the early 60s—laid the groundwork for so much that I aspired to be: arch, learned, and playfully mean-spirited. At 95, Lehrer has long receded from the public eye, but his legacy is profound. As much as I like Cambridge the few times I have been there, seeing a clone of Newton’s apple tree can’t compare to a nihilistic chorus of “We Will All Go Together When We Go.” Tom Lehrer.

14. Blackadder (TV) vs Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV). Two television shows are facing off here, making this a more straightforward match. Kimmy Schmidt got a bit too surreal at the end, but Blackadder went out with “Goodbyeeee,” a contender for the best television episode ever. Two wins for Rowan Atkinson this set.?Blackadder.

15. Stevie Wonder (MUS) vs The Simpsons (TV). I have a great appreciation for Wonder’s long career. You don’t even have to be especially well plugged in to know 20 songs by Stevie. Alas- he’s a very good musician running into one of my favorite tv shows ever, and a staple of my youth. The Simpsons.

16. Saigon Bangkok (RES) vs Parks & Rec (TV). Buffalo’s Saigon Bangkok was my intro to Southeast Asian food and my go-to for visitors and first dates during grad school. For most restaurants I’ve visited, I fell into one favorite dish, but here? I could eat anything on the menu and walk away happy. As much as I appreciated the brilliant personas dramaticas on Parks and Rec, nothing evokes warm memories like sublime meals in good company. Bangkok Saigon.

17. Star Trek: Beyond (MOV) vs Henry A. Wallace (POL). In AbramsTrek, Beyond was an improvement over Into Darkness and allowed the ensemble cast to shine. But it was still a loud, messy, lens-flared boondoggle. Henry Wallace, you goofy, naive bastard…get your corn-fed ass to Round Three.

18. Birch Bayh (POL) vs Edgar Winter (MUS). I liked Winter the two times I saw him live—but I still only know, like, four of his songs off the top of my head. Birch Bayh, though? The last surviving senator to vote for the Civil Rights Act? The only dude other than James Madison to write multiple constitutional amendments? Someone who could have been an A-tier president? I could go on like this for a while, but for now? I’m Bayh-partisan.

19. Peter, Paul & Mary (MUS) vs Old-Fashioned (ALC). Look, I went on my friend Nick’s podcast to defend the honor of Peter, Paul, and Mary. I love them, but it may be the infatuation with the idea of them— folky troubadours at the vanguard of social action. In reality, their music was always decent, but only a special few songs like “When the Ship Comes In”. It’s going to take more than that to beat my go-to cocktail. Old-Fashioned.

20. Saratoga Springs, NY (VIS) vs Q Squared (BOK). On one hand, an ambitious Star Trek novel. On the other, an oasis of art, good food, and high society in the Rust Belt enclave from whence I came. Hang out with a friend? Got a date you want to impress? Want to catch a concert? Make like the subject of “You’re So Vain” and head up to Saratoga.

My Political Compatibility with the 50 States

In a recent post, I listed who I would vote for in every single presidential election (with the benefit of hindsight…it’s too difficult to project the kind of person I would be in, say, the 1850s). After I completed the project, I wondered…which states have voted similarly to my own preferences? That sounded like a typical too-involved Northumbrian Countdown post.

I started by modifying my “who I would have voted for list.” In particular, I forced myself to pick someone who carried at least one state– so that means no more protest votes like Eugene Debs, or Henry Wallace, or Benjamin Butler. Even if all the major candidates all sucked, I had to pick someone viable. My list, therefore, ended up like this:

1789: George Washington 

1792: George Washington

1796: John Adams

1800: John Adams

1804: Thomas Jefferson

1808: James Madison

1812: DeWitt Clinton

1816: Rufus King (x)

1820: James Monroe

1824: John Quincy Adams

1828: John Quincy Adams 

1832: Henry Clay

1836: Daniel Webster (x)

1840: William Henry Harrison

1844: Henry Clay

1848: Zachary Taylor

1852: Winfield Scott (x)

1856: John Fremont

1860: Abraham Lincoln

1864: Abraham Lincoln

1868: Ulysses S Grant

1872: Ulysses S Grant

1876: Samuel Tilden

1880: James Garfield 

1884: James Blaine

1888: Benjamin Harrison

1892: James Weaver (x)

1896: William Jennings Bryan

1900: William Jennings Bryan

1904: Theodore Roosevelt 

1908: William H. Taft

1912: Theodore Roosevelt (x)

1916: Charles Evans Hughes

1920: James Cox

1924: Robert LaFollette (x)

1928: Al Smith (x)

1932: Franklin D. Roosevelt 

1936: Franklin D. Roosevelt

1940: Wendell Willkie

1944: Franklin D. Roosevelt 

1948: Thomas Dewey

1952: Adlai Stevenson (x)

1956: Adlai Stevenson (x)

1960: John F. Kennedy

1964: Lyndon B. Johnson

1968: Hubert Humphrey

1972: George McGovern (x)

1976: Jimmy Carter

1980: Jimmy Carter (x)

1984: Walter Mondale (x)

1988: Michael Dukakis 

1992: Bill Clinton

1996: Bill Clinton

2000: Al Gore

2004: John Kerry

2008: Barack Obama

2012: Barack Obama 

2016: Hillary Clinton

2020: Joe Biden 

So– basically, I picked Federalists whenever they weren’t slaveholders, then Whigs, then Republicans up through the populist era, with the exception of Samuel Tilden. Then some populist candidates, followed by some wavering back and forth in the early 20th century. Once we hit the New Deal, it’s all Democrats all the time, except for Wendell Willkie in 1940 and Thomas Dewey in 1948. 1948 is probably my most controversial and uncharacteristic choice. I like Truman; I’d rank him #6 or #7, but there was an awful lot of graft and I’d be curious to see if Dewey could have created a world order without the militarism or heavy-handed intervention that characterized Truman’s presidency. Yet, I still wonder if I made the right choice.

You may have noted the “X”s near some candidates names. In cases where my preferred candidate carried 20% or less of the states, I awarded those states a bonus point. For example, for 1980, the handful of states that voted for incumbent Jimmy Carter get a bonus point. It seemed sensible to award uncommon good sense. After all, every state gets a point for voting for George Washington in 1789; it seemed silly to treat, say, the rare wisdom of voting for McGovern in 1972 equally.

Here are the results- bearing in mind that the various states entered the union and started voting in presidential elections at wildly different times in their histories.

Hawaii: 15/16 (.94)

Massachusetts: 49/59 (.83)

Minnesota: 32/41 (.78)

Rhode Island: 43/58 (.74)

Connecticut: 38/59 (.64)

New York: 36/58 (.62) 

Michigan: 29/47 (.617)

Washington: 20/33 (.61)

Maryland: 34/59 (.58)

Vermont: 33/58 (.57)

Wisconsin: 25/44 (.57)

Delaware: 33/59 (.56)

Pennsylvania: 33/59 (.56)

New Jersey: 32/59 (.542)

Oregon: 22/41 (.5365)

Nevada: 21/40 (.53)

California: 22/43 (.512)

Maine: 26/51 (.510)

Iowa: 22/44 (.50)

New Hampshire: 29/59 (.49)

West Virginia: 19/40 (.48)

Illinois: 24/51 (.47)

Colorado: 17/37 (.46)

Ohio” 24/55 (.44)

Arkansas: 20/46 (.435)

Georgia: 25/58 (.431)

New Mexico: 12/28 (.428)

North Carolina: 24/58 (.41)

Kansas: 16/40 (.40)

Kentucky: 22/58 (.38)

South Carolina: 21/58 (.36)

Indiana: 18/52 (.35)

Tennessee: 19/56 (.34)

Alabama: 17/50 (.34)

Missouri: 17/51 (.33)

Louisiana: 17/52 (.327)

Florida: 14/43 (.326)

Mississippi: 16/49 (.327)

Virginia: 18/57 (.32)

Nebraska: 12/39 (.31)

Idaho: 10/33 (.30) 

South Dakota: 10/33 (.30)

Montana: 9/33 (.27)

North Dakota: 9/33 (.27)

Texas: 11/42 (.26)

Utah: 7/32 (.22)

Arizona: 5/28 (.18)

Wyoming: 5/33 (.15)

Oklahoma: 4/29 (.14)

Alaska: 1/16 (.06)

Not quite what I expected. Hawaii was my most compatible and Alaska my least compatible– but this is due more, I think, to the fact that they were the last states to join the union. As largely one-party states at a time when I was myself a party-line voter, Alaska got screwed over despite being not really the most conservative state in the union.

Let’s look at the contiguous 48 then. Massachusetts beats them all with a batting average of .83. It’s political history parallels my own preferences, winding its way from Federalist to Whig to Republican to New Deal Democrat, without my turn-of-the-century populist phase. It is helped a great deal by the bonus points it got; it was the only state to vote for Daniel Webster in 1836 and George McGovern in 1972, and also racked up points for Al Smith, Rufus King, and Winfield Scott. Minnesota also did very well, switching from very Republican to reasonably Democratic at about the same point I did; it also banked some bonus points for its rare Mondale ’84 and Carter ’80 votes. Although each of the states has its own varied political histories, I found myself in alignment with modern-day blue states more often than not. In fact, out of my top 20, only Iowa voted for Donald Trump in 2020. Iowa was also the only modern-day red state to crack a .500 batting average.

I would have guessed that the Deep South states would have come in last, but that wasn’t the case. Instead, it was the Mountain West and the Great Plains. Out of the lower 48, Oklahoma did the worst. Since it achieved statehood shortly after the turn of the last century, we agreed only four times: FDR in ’32, ’36, and ’44, and LBJ in ’64. Although Arizona is now officially a swing state, it’s fourth from the bottom here. Other states in the region in the bottom 10 include Utah, Wyoming, Idaho, Montana, and even my beloved South Dakota. We don’t get a Deep South state until Mississippi at #38– and modern-day blue state Virginia did worse than them. This may seem a bit anomalous, but Mississippi was a “ride or die” Blue State until the Democrats became serious about Civil Rights. It’s score was helped by voting for Adlai twice (and earning the bonus points), its support of FDR, and even its Reconstruction-era votes. Other states in the region followed a similar trajectory.Border Southern states like Virginia and Florida broke the region’s Democratic leaning by picking Eisenhower over Stevenson, and Hoover over Al Smith, each of which went against my voting pattern.

So there we have it. To the surprise of few, I’m most compatible with blue states– even when they weren’t “blue” at all but were solidly Republican. If this blog still exists when I’m an old man, it would be fun to see how the states have shifted by the end of my life; there will be ten more elections between now and when I’m 80. And like tectonic plates, the states move and shift in their political alignment as new coalitions form and new kinds of Americans move in, out, and through our fifty little commonwealths.

Top 50 George Harrison Songs

I finally accomplished my ambition- thirty years in the making- to listen to George Harrison’s entire solo output. To celebrate unlocking this achievement, I’m ranking what I believe to be his 50 best songs outside The Beatles

1. My Sweet Lord (ATMP)

2. Any Road (BA)

3. All Things Must Pass (ATMP)

4. Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) (LMW)

5. What Is Life (ATMP)

6. If That’s What It Takes (C9)

7. Marwa Blues (BW)

8. Dark Horse (DH)

9. Rising Sun (BW)

10. Got My Mind Set on You (C9)

11. Cheer Down (single)

12. Love Comes to Everyone (GH)

13. If Not For You (ATMP)

14. Handle With Care (TW)

15. Looking For My Life (BW)

16. It Is He (Jai Sri Krishna) (DH)

17. Awaiting On You All (ATMP)

18. Brainwashed (BW)

19. When We Was Fab (C9)

20. Wah Wah (ATMP)

21. Dream Away (GT)

22. You (ET)

23. Cloud Nine (C9)

24. Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (BW)

25. This Is Love (C9)

26. Apple Scruffs (ATMP)

27. Devil’s Radio (C9)

28. Mystical One (GT)

29. Fish On the Sand (C9)

30. Tired of Midnight Blue (ET)

31. The Art of Dying (ATMP)

32. Behind That Locked Door (ATMP)

33. End of the Line (TW)

34. This Song (33)

35. Hari’s On Tour (Express) (DH)

36. Crackerbox Palace (33)

37. Bangladesh (single)

38. Someplace Else (C9)

39. Living In the Material World (LMW)

40. Faster (GH)

41. Far East Man (DH)

42. Not Guilty (GH)

43. So Sad (DH)

44. Ding Dong, Ding Dong (DH)

45. All Those Years Ago (SE)

46. Gat Kirwani (WW)

47. Woman Don’t You Cry For Me (33)

48. Run of the Mill (ATMP)

49. Blood From A Clone (SE)

50. Be Here Now (LMW)

WW = Wonderwall Music, ATMP = All Things Must Pass, LMW = Living in the Material World, DH = Dark Horse, ET = Extra Texture, 33 = 33 1/3, GH = George Harrrison, SE = Somewhere in England, GT = Gone Troppo, C9 = Cloud Nine, TW = Traveling Wilburies, BW = Brainwashed